How Ateneo Prepared Me to be a Doctor in this Pandemic

We asked some Ateneans to complete this sentence: “When I got accepted to Ateneo, I...” This is what scholar, doctor, and Physician Licensure Examination topnotcher (Top 3 placer) Ruth Divine Agustin (BS Biology 2008, Ateneo School of Medicine and Public Health Batch 2013) had to say.

When I got accepted to Ateneo, I was extremely excited, but I was also thoroughly unsettled because I had to make a life-changing and challenging decision.

2004 was a year of change and hope - the year that transformed my goals and my future. I took both the UPCAT and the ACET, choosing  B.S. Biology as my degree. The actual memory of how I received the news of the admission test results is now vague – a classmate who aspired to enter Ateneo probably shared that the ACET results were already available. I probably asked someone to check if I also passed the exam. I distinctly remember, though, that while I was extremely excited to proceed to the next chapter of my academic formation, I was thoroughly unsettled as to which university to choose – UP or Ateneo. I knew it was going to be a life-changing and challenging decision. 
 
Back then, becoming an “iskolar ng bayan” was the goal for almost all of us in the school. Aside from the prestige of entering the national state university, the appeal of studying in college with minimal financial obligation was truly compelling. As the eldest among a brood of five, with parents who are public school teachers, I was aware that the prospect of me studying college in Metro Manila was financially daunting for our family. My parents and I knew that sending me to college would entail a lot of sacrifices. My parents also knew that without help, they would not be able to send me to Ateneo. 
 
Choosing between UP and Ateneo was, therefore, no simple feat. It involved a lot of discernment and prayers from our entire family. In the end, three important factors made me take my chance with Ateneo:
 

1. I was granted a full scholarship with provisions for books, food, and lodging, which meant that my parents would not be too troubled about supporting my living expenses.
2. I had a mentor, Ma’am Shirley, who personally experienced the Ateneo way. As my class adviser and Chemistry teacher, who patiently taught me how to appreciate and eventually love the subject, she was a person I cherished. I distinctly remember her telling me that I will never regret studying in Ateneo and that I was blessed with the chance of a lifetime.
3. I had such a lovely and memorable experience as one of the 36th Ateneo Junior Summer Seminar (AJSS) participants.

 
Despite my humble roots, the people I encountered during my month-long stint in AJSS showed me that Ateneo is inclusive and respected by people from all walks of life. 
 
In May 2004, about two weeks before the start of the school year, our entire family contracted Typhoid fever, and everyone, except my second sister, was hospitalized. I remember crying in the dead of the night because the intravenous injection of the antibiotic was very painful and because I was so afraid that my entry into Ateneo would compromise the entire family and push my parents into debt. But my parents consoled me and reassured me that God is good all the time. 
 
To this day, God is good, and He provides. I believe He guided me to make that momentous decision in 2004. To this day, I carry love for and gratitude to Ateneo and to all the people I met through Ateneo, who believed in my potential, encouraged me to look beyond myself, dream big, and do more for His glory. 
 
There are many things to love about Ateneo. I love and miss the beautiful campus and the modern facilities and amenities. In college, I loved sitting and contemplating in Bellarmine Field, in front of the Church of the Gesú. I loved taking a nap in one of the nooks of the Rizal Library. Beyond Ateneo’s physical structures, though, what truly captured my heart are its people and its culture. 
 
The commute from my hometown in Isabela to the campus typically took 12 hours or more. As a result, I could only go home twice to thrice a year – on summer, semestral, and Christmas breaks. Such moments were precious, and parting with my family always involved a variable degree of waterworks. 

 
Fortunately, Ateneo became my second home. I gained Ates and Kuyas in the Office of Admission and Aid (OAA) and the Residence Halls. I even had a Tatay in the Residence Halls – Sir Tim, who always claimed we were the apples of his eye. I gained dormmates in the Eliazo and Cervini Halls, who eventually became my lifelong friends and good colleagues. I experienced eating delicious home cooked meals in Manang’s. I gained generous titos and titas among my scholarship benefactors. While the threat of homesickness was always present, it never fully manifested because I was with my second family. 
 
Being an Atenean, I received excellent instruction from the best professors and became proficient in my chosen field of Biology, and subsequently, medicine. This was complemented by the holistic formation offered by the Ateneo curriculum. I am a nerd, and I loved the natural sciences, but I also learned to enjoy the humanities and the social sciences. 
 
Having an intensive science-oriented secondary education and being a Science major, I initially found the Humanities and Social Sciences intimidating and, sometimes, downright frightening. In a Philosophy final exam, I was asked to explain the Socratic paradox and how I can practice philosophy in my daily life. In a Theology final exam, I was asked to apply social justice to the Philippine setting. In another Theology exam, I was asked to formulate an ethical decision about a medical dilemma involving life and death. While my answers in these exams were imperfect—I had a steep learning curve in trying to understand theological and philosophical principles—the tenets of cura personalis and magis became so deeply ingrained that I always tried to abide by them even as I made complex personal and professional decisions beyond my time in Ateneo.
 
One of the oft-cited quotes in medical school is that of Sir William Osler:
 
 “The practice of medicine is an art, not a trade; a calling, not a business; a calling in which your heart will be exercised equally with your head.” 
 
Indeed, as I underwent medical training and eventually started to practice medicine, this quote resonated in my experiences. Some people might think otherwise, but medicine, as a profession, is a calling to serve. The institution has prepared me well for this calling since the Ateneo way has always been about service – to be men and women for others.  
 
The practice of medicine entails an astounding degree of empathy. Empathy is usually explained as “putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.” For me, it means opening one’s eyes to the patients’ plights, listening to their sorrows, and understanding their yearnings. It also means always respecting their dignity, especially in the context of illness, suffering, and death. 
 
The ongoing Covid-19 pandemic continues to stretch the limits of medicine, not just in terms of what we know and what we can do to make people better, but also in terms of how we relate with our patients and how we deal with suffering. As one who has served in the frontlines of a Covid-19 Referral Center, I witnessed and experienced firsthand the degree of pain the pandemic brings to patients, families, and healthcare providers. On one hand, I have experienced the almost unbearable physical toll of 8-hour shifts in suffocating protective masks and suits and the constant mental toll of getting ill and dying. Yet, on the other hand, I have witnessed how patients struggled with loneliness and homesickness and how families struggled with sudden loss and lack of goodbyes. There is so much anguish and despair in the healthcare field right now. Given the degree of empathy we need to continue serving our patients, it is not surprising that many healthcare providers are burning out and choosing to leave the profession. I felt the same. 
 
However, while my Ateneo formation did not explicitly teach me how to deal with Covid-19, the practice of discernment and the values and principles I learned in school contributed greatly to the strength I needed to overcome hopelessness and uncertainties and the fears that came with the pandemic. This, I pray, is true for all of us who are people of Ateneo. Cura personalis captures the essence of what we physicians always aspire to do – to care for the entirety of each patient and not just treat their disease. We seek arete or excellence in whatever we do, even in delivering service to our patients, no matter what their status in life is. Finally, and most importantly, we have a purpose beyond our personal and professional goals and try to live by Ad majorem Dei gloriam.
 
For me, the success of the Ateneo formation does not lie in us graduates being able to narrate the tenets of Ignatian spirituality or memorize all the cheers and rituals of the institution. Neither does it lie in our attendance of UAAP games nor even our defense of the merits of the school against detractors. For me, the ultimate success of the Ateneo formation is when we treat the Ateneo way not merely as a motto we write or utter, but when we sincerely embody it as a way of doing and a way of living.